Monday, October 12, 2009

Seven Stages of VtES Grief

A little while ago XZealot asked in the VtES Usenet Newsgroup what are your reactions when you know you are going to be ousted? To this question (among others) Fred Scott answered like this:
Thinking about it, I usually go through 7 stages:
  1. Shock and Disbelief: I recount my pool over and over. I look at my cards in hand, counting them to see if I'm missing one .. the one that will save me.

  2. Denial: I say to myself, "(Joe, my predator, whoever) won't bleed me. He's got his predator to worry about and he's down to 18 pool for God's sake!"

  3. Bargaining: I then try to bargain feverishishly for more time by offering to be my predator's bitch for the rest of the game or to give him bennies in future games or just anything.

  4. Guilt: I kick myself over and over for influencing out that last minion. Or forgetting to bounce the bleed. Or being a generally bad deckbuilder. Or whatever. This usually overlaps bargaining.

  5. Anger: I lash out at my predator for being so obsessive about ousting me. Why does he need to oust me so soon?!? If he'd just wait a turn or two, he'd surely set himself up for the sweep! Sheeessssh!

  6. Depression: I suck!!! Gawd, I just suck!!! I suck so bad I can't suck for sucking so suckishly bad!!!

  7. Acceptance and Hope: Oh, well. Think I've got another deck in my box here somewhere. I'll do better next game.
Reference: Thread in VtES Usenet Newsgroup.

2 comments:

mattgreen said...

This was mine from the old UK newsgroup, now lost to russian hackers. Your post reminded me of it.

Take the Bleed Mate
-with apologies to The Streets

In one single turn your whole game can turn 'round
Watchin’ incredulously as all your vampires go down
Lookin' to the right slightly, then lookin' to the crowd
Not crowin’ anymore- got a proper sorry frown
"Please let me show you what I can do next turn
I‘ve got good cards now, I can make his dudes burn
Seriously, if he blocks me, his 10cap’s goin’ home in an urn
I’ll even back-bleed your predator. 4 bleed. Certain."
I look at him, he stares almost straight back at me
But his eyes glaze over like he's lookin' to the left of me
He does nothing for what seems an eternity
Turns one guy sideways and I’m staring at defeat

Take the bleed mate
I know it's hard to take but his mind has been made up
Maybe you’ll get a pick-up game
Take the bleed mate
I know you don’t want him to see just how much your deck sucks
But you've got to pack away now
It's over

So then I move my hand up from down by my side
Try to bluff the deflect, but he can see it in my eyes
Tell him if he does that: his guys dies
Touch my biggest tapped dude and let out a sigh
Ask the table if anyone wants to Eagle’s Sight
"There's things I don’t want to be doin', you don’t wanna be takin’
Everyone’ll let you take that back, surely
Please, please, I’m beggin’ you, please".
He brings his hand up towards where his dude’s sidewards
Slaps down a bleed mod with skills I’m not blessed with
He peels a card off his deck, looks at me and then gestures
Asks if I’m blocking with anyone who’s not torpored

Take the bleed mate
I know it's hard to take but his mind has been made up
Maybe you’ll get a pick-up game
Take the bleed mate
I know you don’t want him to see how much your deck sucks
But you've got to pack away now
It's over

And I'm just sittin' there, I can't say a word
'Cause my hand's just wrong
I've got nothin'
Absolutely nothin'

Tryin' to block with Moncada out of bare desperation
Try to talk over him to change what he's sayin'
Shake my head with disgust to make his mind start changin’
Look into his eyes to make him listen again
"I'm not gonna fuckin', just fuckin' get bled out now.
'Cause you said two turns, no bleeding and that was your vow
And you're gonna just break your word, that’s pretty lowbrow.
You're well out of order now, this is well out of town."
He pulls away, my arms are flailing with rage
Gently tells me he’s sorry and looks at me straight
Says it was a good game and offers to shake
Then shrugs his shoulders, taps a guy, then bleeds my prey

Take the bleed mate
I know it's hard to take but his mind has been made up
Maybe you’ll get a pick-up game
Take the bleed mate
I know you don’t want him to see how much your deck sucks
But you've got to pack away now
It's over

I know in the past I've found it hard to say
Tellin' you things, but not tellin' straight
But the more I pulled on my hand and frowned
The more you beat me down

Take the bleed mate
I know it's hard to take but his mind has been made up
Maybe you’ll get a pick-up game
Take the bleed mate
I know you don’t want him to see how much your deck sucks
But you've got to pack away now
It's over

Carl Hatberg said...

"No... wait... don't oust me yet. I have some serious damage lined up for my prey if you let me live one more turn. He hardly had any pressure. Thank you, you're too kind. How convenient, I play Villein for 6 pool and follow through with Golconda for an another 9 pool."